Bye Hugs

I'm completely devastated, but these last few months, I have purposely been taking time to embrace what it feels like to hug my mamma. As I would get ready to leave, she would get out of her chair and stand at the door to tell me bye, tell me she loved me and give me a hug before I left.
I would wrap my arms around her frail little body and lay my head on hers (because she was gradually shrinking). "Love you too momma" I would say, all the while I am telling myself to remember this. I would intentionally notice how my arms lapped over each other because her body was so small. I intentionally took time to think about how her thin course hair (because of hair spray residue) felt against my cheek. I intentionally noticed how I could feel the frail little bones in her shoulders and her ribs. I could have squeezed her in two if I wanted to, but I held it back and just embraced her because I knew that I would not get those hugs forever.  I knew that I wanted to remember exactly what it felt like to hug my mom.
I know it is still fresh on my mind now, because it has only been a few days.  I pray my memories of how it feels to hug mom never fade.