Senior Year, Here He Comes

Since Devin missed his opportunity to have his senior portraits taken at school while the photographer was in town, Devin and I got to take a tour of the countryside for over an hour to have his senior formals taken. It was a nice drive, but it took all afternoon. I didn't think I had ever been to Woodbury TN, but as we drove through the town I began to experience Deja-vu.
As I watched Devin sit up straight and tall and give the photographer his "million dollar smile" I couldn't help but to have flashbacks of his toddler years. I could picture him in the wagon as I pulled him with the lawnmower, I visioned him driving around the back yard in his little red cozy coupe. Yet, here we are today preparing for the last year of school. It's not that this makes me feel old, it just makes me feel like I didn't have enough time. There is a window of opportunity to shape and mold children, to really make an impact on who they become. A small chance to make an impression of what a well rounded, respectful, considerate adult should be. Once that small window of time has passed, kids start tuning you out.
I think I mostly feel guilt; or maybe it's just because I am his mother, but for every struggle that he faces, I feel like I failed to teach him something. I think I have been so used to handing him everything in life that I didn't realize how fast he was growing up and that he needed to learn how to do things on his own.
I blinked and now he is grown. He is a smart young man, I just hope that I can stay out of his way as he finds his way through life.